The New Pastor
As told by Erna Tronsgard.
It was an exciting time for our little village in Norway. We were getting a new pastor, not just any pastor, but this one was single.
Many of the young females in the area were excited because this was their chance to escape being a farmer’s wife or their opportunity to escape being a fisherman’s wife. If they could catch the eye of the new Pastor and eventually marry him, this was their chance to live a life of luxury.
“Not only was this a huge deal for the single ladies, but it was also a big deal for their mothers, whose status would be significantly elevated if their daughter married a pastor.“
Not only was this a huge deal for the single ladies, but it was also a big deal for their mothers, whose status would be significantly elevated if their daughter married a pastor. All the mothers decided to help their daughters make new bunads (the traditional Norwegian dress) and bonnets to impress the new Pastor on his first Sunday in church. Excitement grew in the days leading up to the holy man’s arrival.
The quest begins
Some people wondered why many girls were even bothering because the odds-on favorite to win the Pastor’s heart was the beautiful Elsa. She had flowing blonde hair, the color of buttermilk. The young maiden often sang at church and had the voice of an angel. Ole Oleson had even said she’d make a great mother because she had a nice pair of child-bearing hips. Most were certain Elsa would catch his eye, but it didn’t stop everyone from trying. After all, this was their chance to live a life of luxury.
Maybe he liked redheads. If so, there was Lily. Her fair skin and auburn hair made her a true beauty, but if she had one downfall, it would be that she had a temper. She once got so mad at her father that she huffed at him in public. It was scandalous.
If he preferred brunettes, then he might choose Lorraine. Not only was she beautiful, but she was the best cook in the region. If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, then Lorraine had a chance. She was even known to cook with exotic spices like Salt and Pepper.
The big day finally arrives
The Pastor’s first Sunday finally arrived, and everyone showed up for church. It was like Christmas and Easter combined. People who hadn’t seen the church’s insides in years turned out. There was a bit of a scandal because somebody sat in Ole Oleson’s seat, but the ushers removed them before it got ugly. There was an energy in the room as everyone eagerly anticipated their first glimpse of the reverend. The room was electric.
All of the single hopefuls were sitting up straight, not too straight because they are Norwegian, but straight, nonetheless. They all were wearing their new bunads and bonnets except Elsa. She was letting her blonde hair flow freely. All of the other girls thought she was a tart.
When the Bishop approached the front of the church, he thanked everyone for making it out. “I’m so glad to see everyone attending Pastor Hansen’s first Sunday. I know you are going to love him and you’ll continue attending. So, without anything further, I’d like to introduce you to Pastor Hansen.”
“As the sacristy door opened, a tall, dark, handsome man walked out, and the young ladies’ hearts began to go pitter-patter, pitter-patter.“
As the sacristy door opened, a tall, dark, handsome man walked out, and the young ladies’ hearts began to go pitter-patter, pitter-patter. Then he spoke, his deep voice making him sound like a Norwegian Charlton Heston.
“I would like to thank everyone for coming out today. I have a feeling this will be the beginning of a great relationship. I am so excited to accept my first call here. But before I go any further, I need to introduce you to someone. I want to introduce you to my new bride, Helga.”
This revelation zapped the energy out of the church like a balloon popping. The sacristy door opened, and in walked Helga. She was even more beautiful than Elsa. Everyone instantly hated her, not only because of her striking appearance but because she snatched everyone’s chance at the life of luxury that comes along with being a pastor’s wife.
Nobody heard another word Pastor Hansen said for the rest of the service.
Scandalous behavior from a Pastor’s wife
As if it wasn’t enough for everyone to not like Helga because she married the beloved bachelor pastor, she was also a bit unsophisticated. She came from up on the hills where she didn’t understand the concept of time and rarely showed up somewhere on time. She is often late for church. If the service started at 11:00, she might stroll in around 11:10.
One Sunday, not too long into her husband’s tenure, she arrived at church just as her husband had asked the congregation to rise for silent prayer and reflection. She entered the room as everyone rose to their feet.
“Oh, please,” she waved her hands downward. “Please, sit down. I can remember when I wasn’t any better than the rest of you.”
It was a long first year for Pastor Hansen and his beautiful bride, Helga.